Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in standardprayer's LiveJournal:

Monday, July 18th, 2005
1:13 pm	Dear Lord, I guess this shows how slack I can be at sitting down and having a good pray. I know I have done a bit of unceasing prayer of late, but its not the same as just sitting and praying. Lord, thank you for giving me the courage to put a stop to that *thing*, and thank you for the sensitivity of all involved. Lord, I need you more now than ever. I love him, so much Lord. I dont understand why you have done this, if it is in fact your will. Lord, if it is your will please work in me and remove the pain from my heart, remove the suspicion and the spiralling of my mind. Be with Matt Lord, I know, even though I doubt it at times, that he too is suffering, and Im probably not making it easier, but be with him and comfort him, and help him to seek counsel from someone of YOUR choosing. Help him to make the most of this time and really learn from this experience, and if its your will Lord, bring him back to me. Please comfort and guide me in the following weeks, I am having such a hard time with this and I know that at times I want to just end it, so I thank you Lord for being with me so that I can get past those moments and oppose the evil thoughts that the devil puts in my head. I need your support and comfort. I feel like I cant go on and Im so lost and so confused and hurt. He was my life, my future plans revolved around my life with him Lord. Help me to not harden my heart against future relationships, so that I can love with this vulnerability again. Just help me and be with me through this. Thank you for all you do Lord. In Jesus' name, Amen. (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 10th, 2005
10:04 pm	Thank you Lord for taking away the desire, I never could have comprehended the way in which you have swooped into my life and taken it from me. And all because I allowed you to. You have not only removed from me an ugly horrible desire, but replaced it with joy and faithfulness, and taught me such a wonderful, priceless lesson. I know now Lord that you will take care of it and fix it, no matter the problem, if I simply let you, and really want you to. It is so awesome to know that all I need is to say "take it" and you will do the rest. Its amazing. Thank you Lord. Lord, I pray that you will really be with Me and Matt over the next who-knows-how-long. I pray that you will place in Matt a true awareness of the situation, that he will gain from this time apart so that he can learn what it means to love (verb) someone, to care and protect for them. I pray that you will help him focus not only on what is happening with our relationship but on the fire that he brought back within him from Australia. Help him to hold onto it, and not let the lukewarm, passionless individuals tear him down, or effect him in a negative way. Be with him Lord. Teach him, and guide him. Lord, help me to be strong and solid with this new determination. Help me to follow through on the decisions I have made at this point. Keep purifying and restoring me Lord. I can see the changes that you are making in my life already Lord, and that is to your praise, and your glory, for I am fully aware that I could not have made these decisions or changes on my own, but only with your wonderful, amazing help. Thank you. In your son's name, Amen. (Comment on this)
Friday, July 8th, 2005
11:19 pm	Lord, forgive me for my hostility, my anger, jealousy, for gossiping and being bitter. Lord, help me to be more like you in my approach to others. Help me to be compassionate, accepting and forgiving, to reach out and be the kindest, nicest person that I know I can be through you. Lord, thank you for providing me with such a secure, loving lifestyle, where I dont want for anything. Where I live with in a warm, comfortable home where the only problem is a noisy tap in the kitchen. Thank you for being with my parents, even though they arent with you, thank you for looking out for them, protecting them and blessing them with a comfortable lifestyle also. I prayer that you wil continue to work in their lives, so that one day, they too may know your love and your grace. Lord, I just pray that you be with the boys in Australia, as they are bombarded with messages about you God, that they will remember only what you want them to remember, and bring back with them an eager, humble, joyous spirit that will rub off on those around them. I pray that you be with Matt, that you will humble him as he becomes ever more zealous, that you will gift him with a gentle, quiet spirit that seeks not to offend, but to guide and teach Lord. And Lord, I pray that you continue to purify me, to remove the desire from me to go against your will. You are the first, and the last, the alpha and the omega and I will worship you for all of my days. Thank you God. In Jesus' name, Amen. (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 7th, 2005
8:03 pm	Dear God. Please forgive me. Please give me the strength to truly make a change. I know I said that I wouldnt let it happen again, and I did. I welcomed it. I am so sorry. I dont know why I make it so easy for myself. I dont know why I lie and pretend to myself. I even try and convince you that I mean it. Im not even sure if I mean it. I might. But I have no strength, no discipline, no willpower to stop it. I want it, thats the problem. I want it. Please help me to stop wanting it. Turn me from it Lord. Help me fight it. Remove the desire from my life. You are the only one that can help me Lord, you are the only one that can fix me. I cant make the change on my own. I need you Lord. I need your strength, mine is not sufficient. I want to be faithful to you, I want to be determined. Lord, help me to want that more than the other things that the world offers. Be in me. Work in me. In Jesus' name, Amen. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
7:25 pm	This is an extremely personal journal. Leave a message if you want to be added. Thanks. (Comment on this)